Updates

Well, the lack of updates only shows how badly I have been tortured by the 2 kiddos. -.o"
Things are managable, but my patience is thinning as the lack of sleep wears me out. Each night, I go to bed at almost 11pm, after tucking the princess to bed and woke up 2 times for night feeds, each can last anything from 30 mins to 3 hours. The princess will then wake up for her day at 7.30am. I do sneak in a short nap every afternoon to maintain my sanity.

Other than the night feeds, Lil Isaac is very much cooperative. He is a sleepy baby and sleeps most of the time when he is not hungry, which worrys me too. He sometimes sleeps so much that he doesnt latch well. I am not sure if he is sleepy bcos of jaundice. During the PD visit on last Wed, the doctor mentioned that he is slightly jaundice (no blood test to confirm level) but he doesnt seem at all worried. He mentioned that at this age, it is common for both jaundice and breastmilk jaundice to come in. He had been really sleepy since last night and I am not sure if it is due to heightened level of jaundice or plain sleepiness. I duno how to see leh. His eyes do looked a little yellowish but nothing extreme. Lousy mummy.

Lil Isaac is on TBF. But I am producing more than he can take right now and kept worrying that he is not drinking enuff. He drinks every 3 hourly and can barely nurse 10 mins per breast before he falls asleep. When I have the time, I will express out what is left and will sometime be amazed at what I can squeeze out of my breasts. It makes me wonder if I am producing alot of milk or simply he is not drinking enuff. Haiz. Lil Shauna has rejected my kind offer of breast milk. Hohoho.

Now, the princess. I want to pull hair. She has realised that this little brother is simply here to snatch attention and had been really sticky at times. Well, this is actually nothing new. She had always been sticky, insisting that mummy has to do this and that for her. Come to think of it, it is probably my fault. She hasnt changed, but I have. Somehow, although I know that it is impossible, I had expected her to grow up suddenly now that she has a little brother or at least be a little more understanding. With a little one crying for milk or my breasts bursting with milk, the last thing that I want is to have a sticky toddler refusing to let me latch the baby to stop his cries or relieve the going to burst breasts. But that is happening EVERYDAY.

Each day, other than going to the toilet and eating and napping, I am jumping from the older one to the little one and back to the older one. I am either latching or trying to spend time entertaining/ pacifying/ assuring the older one. Tired. I never tot it is so difficult to be a mother of two. As a 2nd time mummy, handling the newborn is actually easy. It is the toddler that gets me screaming. Haiz.

It is probably no fault of Lil Shauna. She is still her. The same only-mummy-can-do-this-and-that-for-her and the crazy and unreasonable demands before nap and bedtime. It is me. My patience is thinning and I get irritated when I tried to pacify her but failed after short attempts. Boohoo.

My mum tries to help but she adds on undue stress too. Her this-must-be-done-this-way day-to-day routines can drive people crazy. Poor Auntie MA who gets the bulk of it. Auntie MA is trying to get used to the extra work that comes with the new baby and the night feeds. She wakes up whenever the baby cries for milk, but just to cuddle the baby and pass him to be while I get ready to BF. I hope the earlier reminders that I have given her helped to prepare her for this day. My mum tries to bring Lil Shauna to Centris in the late afternoon and out with my brother's family during the weekends so that I can get some rest. But I hate it when Lil Shauna is reluctant to go (for whatsoever reason) and my mum has to force her to go, half dragging a crying Lil Shauna out of the house. I cannot help but wonder if Lil Shauna thinks that we are forsaking her whenever that happens. Must make a mental note to tell my mum not to force her in the future.

Daddy Lim is trying to help and had been a great source of help with Lil Shauna. He had on many occasions brought Lil Shauna out on his own (and the maid) so that the princess is entertained and I get some rest at home. However, he has always been quick tempered and when the little princess throws tantrum and only wants the occupied mummy or makes too many unreasonable demands, he gives up too.

Haiz, things will only get more crazy as time goes on. Lil Isaac will soon wake up from his sleepy world and demand attention just like his sister. His jie jie will continue to be herself. I dread the tot. -.o" But of course we will survive, just like many other couples with 2 kids (or more!). And there will NOT be a 3rd kid, hohoho.

I just need to rant and I feel sorry towards the princess. Boohoohoo. She can be such dear at times. Her smiles and cheekiness still brighten my day.


Mummy Lim

Sad!

Daddy Lim told me that while trying to dress up the princess after shower, she asked him, "why mummy dun like me?"

I had to leave halfway bcos Lil Isaac has to choose that time to be hungry and we hid in ah yee's room to feed.

My heart shattered when I heard it from Daddy Lim. Boohoo, poor Lil Shauna. She must felt left out and robbed ever since the baby came!

Thereafter, I kept telling her that mummy loves her and likes her so much and showered her with loads of kisses and hugs. Haiz, I hope it helps. She was happy when we tucked her to bed.

I hope she dun grow up hating her brother. Boohoo.

Mummy Lim

Mummy of 2

Tough! Lil Shauna is starting to realise that this little brother of hers is no fun. He cannot play with her and the adults are always telling her to go gentle with him when she tries to sayang him. The worse of all, he is constantly snatching Mummy's attention. Poor princess suddenly found herself to have less than 50% of mummy's attention as per what she used to get.

I am TBF Lil Isaac now and feeding on demand. That is to say, I can be latching him anytime and for as long as required. On the 1st day that we came home, Lil Shauna found it amusing but she soon realises that mummy cannot be with her and do things with her when that crying thing needs to be attached to mummy's breast and she started to disallow mummy to latch didi. -.o"

Things get very bad especially during nap and bedtime. Just that day, when Lil Isaac needs to latch nearing her bedtime, she refused to let me latch him amd insisted that I passed the baby to Pappy and carry her instead. I tried to make Auntie MA tuck her for nap yday afternoon and she cried like she was being tortured. I normally will tuck her for nap if I am home and Auntie MA will gladly allow me to do so. In fact, I can tell that she hope that I take over. No choice, Auntie MA and Lil Shauna both have to learn so that I get some breathing space.

As expected, she refused to go to school this morning and cried buckets at the door. They had to pry her away from me and carry a crying Lil Shauna out of teh house. Haiz.

I feel weird too. On one hand, I suddenly expect Lil Shauan to grow up and behave like a jie jie, which I noe is impossible. I realised that my blood sometimes boil when she still makes those untreasonable demands that she made when Lil Isaac was still in my tummy. On the other hand, I feel so guilty that I have to share my attention with Lil Isaac and cannot do things with her like how I used to. There is only one me and I realised that I must learn to let go. There is no way that I can spend as much time with Lil Shauna as before and yet take care of Lil Iaaac and TBF him. Otherwise, I will collapse very quickly. And when Lil Isaac was in my tummy, I tot that I wun have the extra capacity to love him but I was so wrong. I love him and feel guilty that I have to split my love between Lil Shauna and him now. Haiz.

I duno how I am going to handle when Daddy Lim goes back to work tomorrow. -.o"

Mummy Lim

Moo Moo Cow

Lil Isaac took revenge yday and latched non-stop. When the nurses brought him to me, he can latch for over an hour and still cries when I unlatch him and put him back into the cot. -.o" My mik hasnt kick in yet, only the colostrum and he appears to be latching well. However, I can't tell if he is really hungry thus latching or merely using me as a human pacifier. Either way doesnt sound good to me leh. I heard that milk suspply will only kick in on the 3rd day (today is my 3rd day) but may be later for some mummies. I duno how to meet his demand if milk comes in later.

Yday, each latched is at least 20 mins on each breast. In the afternoon, I latched him over an hour and sent him back to the nursery. Within the same hour, the nurse brought him back and said that he was hungry and crying for milk badly. They needed to conduct a hearing test on him and cannot do so with all his crying. I latched him for another hour but he was still rooting when the nurse came for him. He was the last baby liao and everybody was waiting for him and can no longer delay. No choice lor, I gave in to FM and asked the nurse to give him a little FM for only that feed so as to quieten him down and allow the hearing test to proceed. I dont feel lousy but more worried that I dont have enuff milk for him.

I latched Lil Isaac on after that FM supplement feed. I saw that they gave him 35ml. That must have been pleasing to him tummy. ;p

I still hope to TBF him and I find that it is easier to latch him on as compared to Lil Shauna, probably bcos the princess was a preemie and of course practice makes perfect. I can even blog or play game on my iPone while I latch him now. Lil Isaac suckles hard and is now able to open his mouth big big to accommodate my big n****es. Hohoho. I hope to feed on demand but am not sure how things will work out when I am back home. I feel like I am having a holiday now. The baby is mostly in the nursery and is brought to me at regular interval for feeding. No need to change diapers, hear his cries and pacify him when he cries. Then there is no need to entertain the princess. Hmmm.. I am not sure if I am prepared to face the hard work that is to come.

Jia you. I want to be a moo moo cow...

Mummy Lim

I Don't Like My Neighbor

After my last delivery in NUH, I knew that this time, I must stay in an aircon ward. But since Daddy Lim wouldn't be staying overnight and I probably wouldn't have many visitors, I opted for a 2 bedded ward in TMC and I regretted my choice tonight.

My neighbor moved in yday afternoon, almost the same time as me. She is a M**** and admitted due to contractions. I don't fancy M**** neighbor cos based on last experience, they have loads of family and friends and giving birth is like an opportunity for family gathering and picnic. -.o"

I was lucky that she went for delivery the 1st night and didn't came back until yday morning. I had the room to myself. Yday, we even say "hi" and share brief birth story. But when night came, it was a nightmare!

So many family and friends came and they came nearing the end of the visitation hours and was chatting so loudly. I was trying to sleep by 7+pm cos I will be waking up to bf Lil Isaac in the night but they were chatting and laughing so loudly.

After tolerating till 8.30m, I had to complain to the nurse, who didnt chase the visitors out but hushed them down. Most of the guests only left at 9pm, leaving her hb and sis and I kept hearing them whispering. Hello, 2 bedded means cannot stay overnight lah. Go home, go home! I think somebody was still here at 11pm and the nurse finally chased them away.

I wanted to remind her that I am bfg Lil Isaac and she will sure be disturbed when the nurses send him here in the night but with all the din that they created, I decided that she ought to be disturbed in the night and will purposely let Lil Isaac cries. Hohoho. Afterall, she's not bfg her baby and her baby is always full, warm and sleeping when she's in the ward to be paraded to friends and relatives. I will let my dear neighbor know what exactly is night feeding about. Kekeke.

The worse? She or somebody has to snore really loudly when she finally decided to off the light and turn in at 9+pm! I am so glad to go home tomorrow.

Mummy Lim

Latching the Baby

I am not sure if the general services of TMC is not good or yday was not a good date to give birth. TMC is crowded bcos so mummies chose to deliver via c sect or induce on 20 Oct 10, which is supposed to be my EDD and I am glad that I did not deliver on the said day. I heard that it was full house and the nurses and doctors were all so busy.

After I delivered on 21st, there was no bed for me and I had to be wheeled out of the delivery ward to a bed in a pathetic waiting area until 12noon when somebody checks out. I cannot even stay in the delivery ward bcos somebody elses need to give birth. -.o" The waiting area was cramp and only enuff space for 1 bed when the curtain was drawn up. Daddy Lim went home to rest instead.

I reminded the nurse that I want to total breastfeed (TBF) Lil Isaac and I supposed they will bring him to me when time was up. But I didnt get to see him even when I was wheeled to the ward at 12noon. -.o" I reminded again after I settled down in the ward but didnt get to see him until 2+pm.

Hmm, I tot the baby will be hungry but I was wrong. He was very sleepy, probably from the epidural and refused to open his eyes or mouth. I couldnt latch him. The nurse wheeled him to me again at 5+pm bcos he cired but he fell aslp again when he came to me. -.o"

I only managed to latch him on one breast for 10mins at 7+pm and he chose to slp instead when I switched breast. -.o" But things did get better in the night. The epidural effect on him must have worn off and he was able to latch when the nurse brought him to me at 10+pm, 2+am and 4+am (I think, I was hald awake.. Hoho). Otherwise, he must be an night owl, which is a bad thing for me. He latched for an hour during the last feed and I haven seen him since. He was wide awake and still was after his hour of latching. So cute.

Although 2x mummy, I have no idea if I am latching him correctly. My breasts seem a little bit too big for his tiny mouth. Oops. There is still no milk yet, just colostrum and I think today will be a tougher day than yday since he will be more awake, more alert and more demanding. Pls pray that I can be a moo moo cow. :) I duno if I will be successful but I will try. Mummy SY says that just latch on demand and there will definitely supply to meet her demand. Hohoho. Mooooooooo.....

Mummy Lim

Arrival of Lil Isaac

So, here is my birth story.

12.30am - Admit to TMC for induction. While on the way to TMC, Daddy Lim and I kept discussing about why we are admitting at 12mn for induction, some auspicious timing? No answer.

1.00am - Checked and still 2cm dilated. Given medication to clear bowels. Nurse asked about any preferred pain relief measures. "Epidural"!

1.30am - Sent to dilvery ward. Nurse started to set up drip for inducing.

2.00am - Asked if I preferred to have the epidural before or after the drip takes effect. Didnt noe that I have a choice, cos I always tot that I need to be 4 to 6cm dilated before I will be given epidural? But since I am opting for epidural, I figured out that it is not worth going through labour pains. Hohoho.
Daddy Lim left home for a quick nap.

2.30am - Doctor came to give me epidural. The process was actually quite scary. Prayed that I will not suffered from epidural side effects, which I did not other than shivering. Then again, the aircon in the delivery ward was uber cold. And I hate doctors who tell me that the injection is only a little painful, like an ant bite. -.o" It must have been a very big ant.

3.00am - Started feeling numbness in the legs, cannot feel the contractions at all. Nurse mentioned that mild contractions are kicking in. Managed to doze off for a little while.

5.00am - Nurse checked and still 3cm dilated only but I can start feeling the contractions. Not painful but bearable pressure down there. Msged Daddy Lim to take his time and not to rush down. Appeared as if there was still a looonnngggg way to go. Prayed for faster dilation.

6.00am - Waterbag burst on its own despite weak contractions but still 3cm dilated. Msged Daddy Lim to come back. Start of more regular and intense contractions.

6.30am - Daddy Lim arrived and I started feeling the contractions, which were largely bearable with deep breathing but tot that I should ask for higher dosage of epidural. Afterall, since I opted for pain relief, why bother gg through labour pains? Hehe. But the nurse rejected me and told me that pressure is good, will help when it is time to deliver and asked me to request again if the pain gets unbearable.

7.15am - Asked for higher dosage again. This time, another nurse attended to me and gladly helped me increase the dosage. Hohoho. Asked if she will check for dilation but she mentioned that the protocol is to do so every 4hrly and the last check was at 6am. She will only do so if I still feel increasing pressure after increased dosage of epidural.

7.35am - Asked nurse to check for dilation cos I kept feeling pressure bearing down. Found to be 8cm dilated. Nurses started preparing for delivery while we wait for the doctor to arrive.

8.00am - Doctor finally arrived and started wearing his gear for delivery.

8.15am - Started pushing. The TMC staff are probably been through so many deliveries. It is weird how the nurses and doctor all started joking and then becoming really encouraging and urged me to push. It was very relaxed and it actually feels like a soccer game with people cheering me on. Hoho.

8.21am - All it takes is 2 contractions and 7 pushes and we heard Lil Isaac's 1st cry. Hohoho. The nurses cleaned him up and the doctor continued with the removal of the placenta, the cleaning and stitching. The placenta is uber gross lor, like pig's kidney. Bleeehhhhhh...

I managed to latch Lil Isaac after he was cleaned up. Of course I have no milk yet but he gave powerful suckles and I hope he got the important colostrum. This is how he looked like straight after birth.


It is so different with Lil Shauna and Lil Isaac. For jiejie, she was almost grey when she came out and wasnt crying much. The doctors and nurses took her away almost immediately after I gave birth. All I did was to catch a glimpse of her. With didi, we heard his powerful cries the moment his head popped out. Hohoho. We get to take photos with him and latch him too.

And this is him after clean up. How? Look like who? Oh he has a dimple on one side of his cheek. Hohoho.


Lil Shauna came and visit in the evening. I heard from Daddy Lim that she woke up crying in the night when she couldnt find me and made Daddy Lim carried her around the house to look for me. Ahhhhh.. my poor princess. She was happy to see me and didi and was even happier to see the pressie that didi got for her. Hohoho. She willingly left the hospital when it was time for her to go home with Daddy Lim. I hope this signifies a good start and she will still remain so angelic after Lil Isaac goes home.

Mummy Lim

Live From TMC

Nope, Lil Isaac is not here yet, but I hope soon.
I admitted at midnight and was wondering why the doctor choose this timing. It cannot be that he is still around at this time mah. Anyway, it is good also since I can tuck Lil Shauna to bed and spent the night waiting for Lil Isaac to come.

Upon admission, I was checked and was still 2cm dilated with no contractions. Was prepared and sent to the delivery ward.

I was strapped to the CTG machine to monitor Lil Isaac's heartbeat and contractions and was given medication via drip to induce labour. Daddy Lim decided to go home to rest and come back the next morning. We all know that this will take some time. He made the right choice cos I got minimal rest. Every now and then, somebody will come in to check on me, stock up on duno wat or the bp machine will act up to take my bp. -.o"

I have opted for epidural this time. I figured that it is not worth the pain especially when inducing might take forever. The nurse asked if I wanted epidural before the drip and I was taken aback cos this was never an option given to me when I had Lil Shauna. So, the kia si me opted for epidural to avoid all possible contraction pains. Well, I tried labour pains before liao and once a lifetime is enuff.

The contractions were weak and I was only 3cm dilated at 5am. -.o" Was praying hard for natural delivery and to be quickly dilated and suddenly my waterbag burst on its own at 6am despite the weak contractions. Hohoho.

The burst waterbag seems to kick in stronger contractions. I am now waiting and waiting. I can feel the contractions but they are still bearable. The contractions are pretty close apart and I wonder what auspicious time Lil Isaac will choose to come out. Hohoho.

Mummy Lim

I See the Light!

Yes, yes, yes.. Hohoho.. I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. The doctor says that Lil Isaac is engaged. In fact, he was engaged since last week. No wonder I keep feeling that he headbutt my bladder and makes me go into some I-need-to-pee-now dance.

And I have dilated 2 to 3cm! Yes, I have been walking around dilated but not at all knowing. No feeling at all leh. Then again, some women walk around dilated for weeks!

I will be admitted to TMC at 12mn to be induced. Yes, it is still induction but at least my body has shown signs that it is getting ready for labour. The doctor will burst the water bag and I will just be waiting for the hour to come. I am excited.

Life will be different from tomorrow onwards for the Lim family. I am not sure if we are ready for the changes but have all been waiting for so long. Pls help to pray for smooth and natural delivery!

Mummy Lim

Cheeky Princess

I cannot help but snapped loads of photos and videos of the princess. She's so pretty but very cheeky too. One of those, "mummy I tie hair, I so pretty" look.


And of course, cheeky face look. In fact, loads of them everyday. Hoho.



The other day, ah yee bought this cat ears hair band and she was so happy wearing them and telling us that she is a "xiao hua mao".



This one is classic. My belly button has started to pop out and she kept asking me why. So, I told her the Lil Isaac is pushing inside. She describes it with such animation. Hohoho.


Just now, while trying to tuck her for nap. She decided to sing me a song with actions.


How not to love her? Hohoho.

Mummy Lim