Mummy of 2

Tough! Lil Shauna is starting to realise that this little brother of hers is no fun. He cannot play with her and the adults are always telling her to go gentle with him when she tries to sayang him. The worse of all, he is constantly snatching Mummy's attention. Poor princess suddenly found herself to have less than 50% of mummy's attention as per what she used to get.

I am TBF Lil Isaac now and feeding on demand. That is to say, I can be latching him anytime and for as long as required. On the 1st day that we came home, Lil Shauna found it amusing but she soon realises that mummy cannot be with her and do things with her when that crying thing needs to be attached to mummy's breast and she started to disallow mummy to latch didi. -.o"

Things get very bad especially during nap and bedtime. Just that day, when Lil Isaac needs to latch nearing her bedtime, she refused to let me latch him amd insisted that I passed the baby to Pappy and carry her instead. I tried to make Auntie MA tuck her for nap yday afternoon and she cried like she was being tortured. I normally will tuck her for nap if I am home and Auntie MA will gladly allow me to do so. In fact, I can tell that she hope that I take over. No choice, Auntie MA and Lil Shauna both have to learn so that I get some breathing space.

As expected, she refused to go to school this morning and cried buckets at the door. They had to pry her away from me and carry a crying Lil Shauna out of teh house. Haiz.

I feel weird too. On one hand, I suddenly expect Lil Shauan to grow up and behave like a jie jie, which I noe is impossible. I realised that my blood sometimes boil when she still makes those untreasonable demands that she made when Lil Isaac was still in my tummy. On the other hand, I feel so guilty that I have to share my attention with Lil Isaac and cannot do things with her like how I used to. There is only one me and I realised that I must learn to let go. There is no way that I can spend as much time with Lil Shauna as before and yet take care of Lil Iaaac and TBF him. Otherwise, I will collapse very quickly. And when Lil Isaac was in my tummy, I tot that I wun have the extra capacity to love him but I was so wrong. I love him and feel guilty that I have to split my love between Lil Shauna and him now. Haiz.

I duno how I am going to handle when Daddy Lim goes back to work tomorrow. -.o"

Mummy Lim