I never like the idea of having a maid. Maybe bcos I grew up without one, the thought of having a stranger living in my home makes me feel funny. Thus, even when Lil Shauna comes along, the option of engaging a maid is far away from my mind.
Nearing the end of my ML, I actually suggested to my bro to engage a maid cos it sometimes seem impossible for my mum & SIL (who are Stay-At-Home-Mums) to take care of 3 kids (2 nieces + Lil Shauna) and the household chores. It is simply chaotic when any of the kids decides to be difficult and that can happen so frequently.
So, a maid did come along. My mum insisted that she's just as busy as ever and many a times claim that the maid seems better off than she is. From my point of view, I think this has largely to do with the fact that mum refuses to let go. She still insists on cooking, things must be done in certain ways (her ways) and thus she rather do things herself sometimes than ask the maid to. Then she complains that the maid lacks initiative. Anyway, wat I see is that my bro & SIL are much better off. Now, evenings and gg out are a breeze to them. In the evenings, they can now indulge in mahjong, computer games, watching tv, gg for movie, dinner with friends etc, while the maid helps to look after the kids. When they are out, there is no more "gobbling-down-of-the-food" to carry the kids bcos the maid will help with the kids while they enjoy their dinner 1st. I started wondering if this is wat we need.
Now that Lil Shauna is less difficult and wakes up less frequently, I try to bring her home every night. I just thought that babies grow up really quickly and wanted so much to share her babyhood before it is gone. On the other hand, Daddy Lim is not confident of taking care of Lil Shauna on his own yet. Thus we can only pick her up when I knock off from work, even at times when I have to work late. To knock off earlier, I sometimes have to rush like mad during work hours. After work is again a mad rush to stuff down dinner, fetch Lil Shauna, bath her, feed her, play with her & tuck her to bed. Weekends are worse. Lil Shauna has grown and demands much of our attention. Most of the times, she is not longer just satisfy with lying around but demands play which requires alot of our energy. Bringing her out is not easy either, especially during meal times. I suddenly realise that I envy my bro & SIL...
We have made so many sacrifices. The last movie that we went to was Indiana Jones and that was at least 5 months ago. Going out with friends for dinners after work is almost non-existence. Weekends are spent taking care of the baby. Simply no "we" or "me" time in the evenings unless the baby is asleep, which also mean that we should be sleeping to build up energy for possible middle of the night crying, feeding, playing, etc. Suddenly, the tot to engage an extra pair of hands seems inviting.
Financially, we would be stretched, but probably manageable. However, that would mean that allowances to parents have to be reduced. We did run the idea through my mum, who objected stubbornly. She insisted that one maid is enuff and she doesnt want to help us supervise another maid. She even threatens to go back to work. Without her supervision,there is no way we can get a maid. She kept insisting that there is not enuff work to occupy 2 maids during the day time but doesnt want to see that it is not the day time but evenings, nights and weekends that are killing Daddy Lim & me. She just wants us to hang on the existing arrangement. She suggested for us to leave Lil Shauna with her overnights if need be, but that is not what we wanted. Having an extra help with Lil Shauna, yet allowing us to bring her home seems ideal. Anyway, the idea is out.. for now. We will shelf the idea, but told my mum that if we really cannot hang on any longer, a maid has to come in. She didnt agree or disagree, which is her usual style. I can only hope that Lil Shauna gets easier. Since the cruise till Sunday, we have been taking care of Lil Shauna on our own. Daddy Lim had been the most helpful. Without him, I probably would have been tortured to death by Lil Shauna. Every now & then when Lil Shauna was difficult or when we are very tired, the idea of getting a maid is just so tempting. Haiz...
Mummy Lim