Parenting is a lifelong learning. Just when we thought we have a good grasp at it, the kids grew up and whatever we thought works become obsolete and we had to learn again.
In my recent memory, what was really difficult was the “letting go”. I bet there were more difficult phases in the past but I have forgotten, which is a good thing. We learned to “let go” of Nana when she became a teen and had a super active social life. She had so much lesser time for us and we learnt to be a “single child” parents. That phase lasted for a few years. Zaky was very happy to be the “single child” then, enjoying all the attention that his parents showered on him.
Then Zaky joined Nana’s path and we had to deal with a semi empty nest and had to learn to be a couple again. Our weekends are now for grocery shopping and resting, an integral part of life, especially now that age is though just a number but a very big one. Hoho.
This year, Nana turns 18 and I am surprised at how old she has become. Lol. Ya, it had caught me by surprise several times this year that my 1st born is now legally an adult. This also inferred how old I have become. My grey hair is not helping. Zzzz.
While we learn how to let go, the kids are by right supposed to learn how to take over the control. Not only be responsible for the extra freedom but also of the less pleasant side, like finances and logistics. Nana just had an adulting lesson.
A couple of months ago, she asked if I remembered her SingPass password. She has forgotten and couldn’t log in. Why would I remember her password? Zzzzz.. she is supposed to reset her password and get the app sorted but she didn’t. Earlier this week, she couldn’t find her wallet and her NRIC is in it. I duno why she would bring the physical card around. I only carry my SingPass app. I kept her physical card normally but she needed it for some exams and didn’t pass it back thereafter.
It is very troublesome and cost $100 to replace NRIC. Then she realised that to do so, she needed her SingPass, which she is unable to log in. To reset her SingPass password would require her NRIC issue date, which is not available bcos she misplaced her NRIC. I was upset with her and she too with herself. Then I realised that I don’t have to - she is an adult now and should take care of these troubles that she had created herself.
After multiple tries, she managed to log in into SingPass. One hurdle crossed. I now asked both kids to tell me their password, so that I can help to keep a record.
She did and was feeling very upset with the painful logistics. It is indeed painful. She was all stressed up last night such that I now feel bad to be upset with her. Haha.
Then, we heard her shouted from her room. What?! What?! She found her wallet. It was tucked in the pocket of her school skirt, which she had not worn for the past week bcos she had been skipping school as she was sick. What she needed to do now is to cancel the online police report that she has made, a requisite to replace her NRIC. More logistics but at least happy logistics.
It is a painful and frustrating lesson. She experienced it 1st hand. I can only tell her “welcome to adulting”. Hoho.
Mummy Lim
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