Hanging Up Her Skates

Yes, we have agreed, Nana would hang up her skates... for good... or until she thinks she wants to skate again.

Nana had been distracted for a long time. She is getting nowhere (near the national squad) in her ice skating and her other activities piled. On many occasions, she told me that she cannot cope. It was me who cannot let go of her ice skating. While it isn't me on the ice, I had grew up with her in this journey... 8 long years. 

She suggested stopping several times and the frequently increased in the recent years. We at 1st agreed to skate until the rink closes for renovation and that was supposed to be this July or next year. The plan was shelved when there is news that the land that JCube sits on will be redeveloped for residential use. So the rink will go somewhere and the developer doesn't want to dump $$ to renovate the rink now.

Then Coach Raymond had a stroke and stopped her classes. My last hope was her taking classes with Coach Gen. Just 1 lesson and I could see the improvements. 

She was supposed to have her group lessons with 3 other girls and Coach Gen yday evening. This lesson was shifted from last week bcos she injured her ankle (again) during netball. She has never taken group lessons since she started figure skating and I was eager to hear her feedback. The group lesson focuses more on basics and the posture and I thought she looked good. 

Then she fell while executing an axle jump and hurt her injured ankle again and cannot continue with the lesson. Haiz. 

I was upset. I said that I was upset bcos she is not taking the precautions to protect herself. However, after reflection, I think I am upset that she is not giving the focus and priorities that I expected to ice skating. She had a whole day of activities before ice skating class yday and was tired. When one is tired, injuries find their way in. 

We had a big argument on the way back. I agreed to stop ice skating (my heart broke) and I insisted that she drop out of her school's sKy Leaders program and not to take up drum lessons until she earns her own lesson fee. This sKy Leaders thing is 1 of her 3 CCAs in school. She is also in Netball and Council and I had been nagging at her for the longest time to drop out. She kept hugging onto it and I think it is FOMO. She really had troubles coping with so many things on her plate and I lost count of the discussions we had in how to manage her time and deciding what she needs to shave off. She had cut down on her weekend social activities and had benefitted. At one point, she was struggling and didn't have time to rest bcos she cannot say no to invitations, like all kinds. 

So, it is concluded. I emailed the Teacher IC yday and requested to pull her out of the program. She is dropping the ice skating. 

I had troubles sleeping last night. I am not sure if it is the quarrel with Nana or the PSLE results. I think both but the former bothered me a lot more. I made it a point to resolve this  morning. 

This morning, I broke the ice. I told Nana that I didn't regret making her drop sKy and I have also come to terms that she will stop skating. Coach Gen was my very last attempt and it didnt work out. She said that she had also wanted to drop sKy and I only helped her to accelerate the decision. We agreed that this is a good outcome, just that the process to reach the conclusion could have been better. We both know that sKy and skating had to go and were just hanging on. She then left happily to school for her netball and Council Camp. 

Am I upset? Of course. My heart broke. It had always been my joy to watch her on the ice and during competition when she had the whole ice to dance on. I guessed this is my journey as a parent, learning to let go. I supposed it is time, instead of expecting the kids to take this or that lesson, I should do so myself now that I have more time. Hahahaha. 

Mummy Lim