Sleeping on His Own

Zaky has a secret - he still co-sleeps with his mummy, aka yours truly. Hoho. 

Zaky has always been an affectionate and cuddly boy, with a strong love for soft toys. He still hugs his soft toys to bed and he has a big one in the car for his car ride naps. I remember we used to bring a soft toy for his naps when we were outside. 

For his whole life, Zaky imagines that the monster would come catch him after he falls asleep. Where got so many monster? I used to say that he has a "mummy radar". I would tuck him to bed and not long after I crept away, his radar will sense my physical absence and wakes him up. Many nights, I would find him crawling into our bed. This still works when he was tiny but as he grows, trying to squeeze 3 persons into a queen size bed is plain agony. The person sleeping in the middle has it worse and for some reasons, it is usually me. Pui!

He gets slightly better as he gets older. It doesn't has to be me sleeping with him. He had afterall survived the nights where I was away for business trips and had sleepovers without me. He does have a preference for me when I am around. Must be my smell. Haha. 

Zaky has grown a lot physically. He is literally a small adult size now and sleeping together in a single bed for the entire night is now a challenge. When we shifted to LV, where he gets his own room, we agreed that he would sleep in his own bed. While I didn't have to sleep beside him, we agreed that I would sleep in his room on a mattress on the floor. The idea is that I am still there and if he wakes up in the night, he would be able to see that I am "still with him". 

In the initial days, he would wake up to peep at me, just to make sure that I had kept my promise. It gets much better now where there are nights where he wakes up to use the toilet and go back to bed on his own. We talked about it but he still insists that I must sleep in his room even when there are so many nights where he slept through. 

Last night was so funny. After Zaky felt asleep, I was happily scrolling fb when Daddy Lim opened the door. He had just watched a horror film and was too afraid to go to bed alone! Muahahaha. He asked if I can sleep with him or if he can sleep in Zaky's room instead so that somebody can wake him up if he gets a nightmare. Hohoho. 

So, for the 1st time since we shifted, I got to sleep in my own bed without Zaky and while Zaky is at home. Woohoo! I had thought that I would have a great night bcos our bed is so much more comfortable than the mattress. Surprisingly, it took me a long time to fall asleep when I am the 秒睡 kind. Daddy Lim even fell asleep faster than I did and I heard him snored. I also stirred and woke up multiple times in the night. Daddy Lim didn't have any nightmare but I did! I dreamt that Zaky was very sick and was vomiting so badly. I was jolted awake and was so glad that it was a dream. 

So how did Zaky take the night? He was so tired that he slept through and didn't realise that I was not in his room. I came to the conclusion - it is probably me who find it harder to let go than the kids. I mean, there are less and less times that the kids would need me and I do treasure these moments though I do grumble about the extra work/ efforts/ things to do. Sob, the kids are growing up! 

Mummy Lim