Life is Exciting

We have good news in the family, but my 1st reaction wasnt of joy but shock, which was quickly taken over by anger and I became very upset. My mum told me the good news last night after my hard day of work. I have to admit that there was no joy at all then.

I spoke to my mum at length and the more I speak, the angrier and more upset I was. There was no solution and no conclusion to the conversation. I called Daddy Lim and had the same conversation again. I was still upset. Daddy Lim tried to offer solutions but none seems to work. Haiz..

Then my sis came home and we talked somemore. And the more we talked, the more I realised that I wasnt angry at the event or the good news. The anger was actually channelled at my mum. Somehow, I noe that despite all that I have done for her, she will put my brother first and jump to his rescue if need be, at my expense. What I felt was a sense of betrayal. I can predict that she will flip even if she has made promises to me. Haiz, so many years liao and I still cannot resolve this issue. I am forever fighting for her attention and get upset when she doesnt reciprocate, getting jealous that she favours her 1stborn over me. Wat to do, human nature. Haiz..

And when I finally go to bed, I noe that it is not a case where there is no solution. We all just need to make adjustments. I am just a sore loser, tasting defeat even before the war has started and hating it. It actually made me lost sleep and I was still feeling very bad this morning. It must be the pregnancy hormones. Pui!

But then, I saw love in the event. God must have done things for a reason. My sis was very encouraging and promised to help if need be. She also reminded me that Daddy Lim is standing by me and even though none of the solutions that he gave seem to help, he was just trying to make me feel better. This morning, my sis even sms me verses to encourage me and reminded me that she loves me. Orrrhhhhh.... I want to cry lor. I love you too, ah yee.

And I took the courage to sms my SIL, encouraging her and telling to her that I am willing to make adjustments to make things work in the best possible way. I am still trying my best to make relationship better. :) Her replies were encouraging too and it further comforts my heart.

Life is exciting, full of surprises. I think I need to pray for the issues with my mum. It was there and still there. Haiz, women are still petty animals. But I know that things will work out fine bcos God is watching over me.

Pappy, I love you too!

Mummy Lim