I had a mega quarrel with Popo on Tuesday. It was bad, really bad.
For those who didn't know, I had quitted the company that I was with for the last 9 years. It was a place that I love and grew up with. Due to some reasons, I thought that it would be better that I moved and I did. I would be starting a new phase of my life this coming Monday. I have a few days of break before I start with my new company and was home on Tuesday.
Popo was busy with her usual 101 routines in the morning and I was manning the kids. We were supposed to go to Batam with my brother's family the next day and I haven't even packed the bags. When Popo finally slowed down and was ending her chores, I asked for some time to pack. I already know what I needed and wouldn't need long. Popo should also know that I wouldn't take long. She has seen me pack countless of times.
Unfortunately, Popo was anxious that my SIL couldn't handle the 3 kids - their maid was away on home leave, yet she was worried that I couldn't handle mine. So, Popo insisted that she dragged my kids to centris while I packed. Or maybe it was part of her routine too.
I was pissed. I couldn't understand - if she thinks that she was pressing for time then why she must finish her routines and if she must finish her routines, then why cant she just give me another 45mins to pack? Or maybe I was just angry at her routine, about how they control my life.
She tried getting the kids to dress but everybody wanted mummy to help and I refused to help. I simply went on packing. After trying for like forever, the kids still refused to cooperate. I was secretly smirking. Popo then angrily exclaimed that I was throwing a tantrum. Well, she wasnt wrong but that triggered it. We had a mega fight.
Angry words are not kind words and many things got dragged into the quarrel, from favoritism to $$ issue, to us not appreciating her, etc. It was so bad that I actually asked her to shift back to my brother's place, something that I have not said before, after tolerating her nonsense all these years. I supposed I have tolerated enuff, of her stepping all over me and controlling how I should live my life in my home. Then, there was all those emotional blackmail that Popo used on me but I don't really care.
Interestingly, even after the mega quarrel and the outburst, Popo doesn't want to go back to my brother's place. I don't know why. It is either she thinks that it is disgraceful to be chased out of my house or the fact that she enjoys controlling and stepping and bullying me. I somehow think that it is the latter bcos if it is the former, she can simply act victim and make me look like the bad guy. I don't mind actually.
There was no conclusion to the quarrel. After the quarrel sort of stopped, I told the kids to either followed Popo or stayed at home with me. Nobody wanted to follow Popo and that was when she declared that she would be bringing Fione over to play. What??!!!! WTH!
I needed breathing space. I hate how she is interfering with my life. For goodness sake, I am 34 years old and a mother of 2! Give me space to live. So I packed my bag, dressed the kids, sent a SOS message to Auntie H and left the house. I was so glad and grateful that Auntie H was home and escaped to her place for the day. That was the 1st time that I actually brought 2 kids out on my own. Well, almost alone - Auntie H is fantastic with kids, regardless of whose.
Before I left the house, I texted Daddy Lim, my brother, SIL and sister to inform them of the mega quarrel. I even told Daddy Lim and my brother that if my mum decided to shift, I would spend the remaining week looking for and settling the kids in childcare.
My mum tried calling me soon after I left the house but I refused to pick up her call. I couldn't face her or talk to her at that point. I needed to be away from her.
The day away from her was fantastic. With Auntie H's help, we had lunch at Marche and the kids enjoyed playing with boo boo. We even made our own pizza in the afternoon and it tasted really great.
While with Auntie H, I realised that nothing would have changed. I can't change Popo, everything will be status quo. It is impossible that she would shift back. It is so obvious that she didn't want to.
Daddy Lim joined us for the pizza dinner and sent us home. Popo was home when we reached home and as expected, nothing had changed.
A few days had passed since the mega quarrel. I am still feeling sore and I don't know from what. Maybe it is the fact that nothing has changed, so nothing was resolved. So, I am still pissed over how she controls my life. One thing for sure is that I am trying to avoid her. I am not speaking to her unless necessary and really yearned for time without her over the weekend. The USS is a great escape cos Popo cannot tag along. Haiz, why like that? Sob.
Mummy Lim