Last Day of Year 2010

It is a crazy way to end 2010. Lil Shauna woke up crying and whining over NOTHING. Then she decided that she will be a small baby today and keep mummy to herself and refused to share mummy with Lil Isaac.

Other than the crying and whining, she refused to change out of her soiled diaper and insisted that she is a small baby. -.o" When I removed her diaper, she refused her panty and insisted on a new diaper. Then, she whined and threw multiple tantrums the whole morning. I am going crazy. And of course, I cannot carry or latch Lil Isaac. To prevent me from doing so, she's lying all over me.

Then, she has to take painfully long to finish her food and reject her food without finishing them. It is so difficult to feed her recently.

I don't know what is wrong. She's not running a temperature and no symptoms of flu. Maybe she just wants to make the last day of my year memorable. Haiz. I am hoping that Daddy Lim can knock off on time today and share the pain with me. Hohoho. I also hope that she gets better as the day progresses.

So, year 2010 has come to an end. My achievements? Well, I have another baby, started attending church, toilet trained Lil Shauna and she is also starting to use her car seat. I hope year 2011 passes slowly. Of course, I have set my new year resolution, of which, losing weight always made it to the list. Hohoho. I also hope to spend more couple time with Daddy Lim, don't want to be robbed by the kids.

To end off my year, I have dated Daddy Lim for a coffee. If we have enuff energy, I do hope to countdown with him. Tired....



Mummy Lim

Update:
We did countdown.. almost together. I was in the living room expressing with ah yee on her laptop. And Daddy Lim? He was on the throne... Hohoho.

The Aftermath 2

Things are back to normal. I supposed that is the good thing when one has issues with their own mum, the negative feelings don't linger forever.

She complained to ah yee that she was upset that I yelled at her. That is indeed my fault. I tried to apologize to her after summoning all my courage but she cut me off. The next day, she first showed her displeases by fighting to do all the housework. I made MA do as much as possible too. Then she made sarcastic remarks and I had to play deaf, mute and blind, basically no retaliation at all. I kept quiet even when she got my points wrong, defending will only make her angrier and I know that she just needed to rant.

Thereafter, things almost went back to normal and were fine by the end of the day. Phew! Although it was a tough few days, the eruption really did clear off all the bad feelings in me. Now, I am trying my best to accommodate her routines, I have to remind myself that they come in a package. She is also easier on me with her words and tone. It appears that the outbreak wasn't that bad a thing and I just hope that I can at least tahan until I go back to work. By then, things should be better when I spend less time at home.

I still love my mum and appreciate her help and willingness to look after my kids; she has no obligations to do so. And I know of many grandmas who are unwilling to do so, afterall kids today are no longer gong gong like how we were when we are young. Hmmmm... Telling her 'I love you' is just as difficult as the 'sorry' that I said that night. But I hope she can feel my love for her.

Mummy Lim

The Aftermath

Cold war, as I had expected. She refused to speak to me and I didn't talk to her too unless necessary. She still went about the day's activity, helping with Lil Isaac, cooking, etc, just no communication between us or her and the maid. I supposed she's upset with me and trying to stay out of our lives.

After yday's outburst, I felt better. Maybe bcos I have gotten the bad feelings out. Without her snapping at me or barking at the maid, my emotional container is still empty. Don't get me wrong, I do feel bad for upsetting her.

Life at home went along fine. Without her insistence on the routines, there is also no major hiccups, the house didn't get burnt down, no kid was sent to hospital due to contamination. But I don't suppose it made her realized that her routines are NOT indispensable and they DON'T improve the quality of life.

I was feeling ok today, thinking that we just need some time to cool down until my sis texted me. My mum left the house after we brought Lil Shauna to the room. She called my sis to complain that I was very harsh yday and that she's better off living elsewhere. She was on the way to JP NTUC but we are not sure if she has the intention to run away. Haiz.

Then I felt that I was being blackmailed emotionally. She made me feel that I had begged her to come stay with us and now that I had my way, I ill-treated her. Sad. Perhaps it is really my fault, I had the wrong expectations. I had expected her to understand that I am the lady of the house, that she is here to help with the kids and not to rule the house, our lives. I didn't see that when I ask her to come, she comes with all her rules and routines, that everything comes in a package. I cannot cut her off her rules and routines.

I felt the same helplessness. I needed her help. Perhaps I have to take the whole package, there is no such thing as customization. I don't know.

I told Daddy Lim that he has to remind me to not live with the kids when they grow up and to stay out of their lives. I hope I will do a better job when it is my turn to be grandma and not be a pain in their neck.

Mummy Lim

Mega Fight

Great, I had a mega fight with my mum on Boxing Day. Come to think of it, there wasn't a specific thing that we were quarreling about but the accumulation of bad feelings. I dont know if it is one-sided but recently, she had been stepping on my tail everyday and I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from screaming at her. I find that she had either been uber sarcastic or snapping at me recently. And I know that I don't have the best temper. As a result, I had been behaving negatively towards her too. I caught myself so frequently doing recently.

And so, I exploded. I actually drove her to tears. Yes, my bad. And there was no conclusion to the quarrel, just an outburst of bad feelings. At certain point, I yelled at her. -.o" I can't help but wonder if I am better off not asking her to come over to live with us but I also know that I NEED her help. I will not feel at ease leaving 2 young kids with the maid and MA is unable to handle both kids alone. But she is driving me crazy with her rules and routines with the maid is stuck between us, confused at times over the conflicting instructions. I pity MA sometimes. My mum kept thinking that I am siding with the maid but I am not! Just that her rules and routines are ridiculous and out of the norm and I do not agree with them. Naturally, MA doesn't do things her way unless told to and it seems like I am siding with her. Craziness.

I don't know what will change after the quarrel, maybe it helps to erase the accumulated bad feelings and I can start over again with an empty container. I actually look forward to go back to work, adopting the out of sight, our of mind tactic. I was surprised that I enjoyed my ML and being a full-time mummy this time and was even more surprised that my mum is my motivation to go back to work. Haiz.

I thought people only have issues with MIL but I am actually having issues with my own mum! It must be the case of having to live together. Haiz. How? I think it is very sad if our relationship turns sour with all these issues and I bet there are more to come.

Mummy Lim

Sleeping Through

Lil Isaac is 9 weeks and 3 days old today. He is so different from Lil Shauna when it comes to sleeping habits. At 10 weeks old, Lil Shauna still wakes up for milk 2x a night but Lil Isaac appears to have slept through last night after his last feed at 9pm. This morning, I woke him up at 5.30 to feed and he is back to lala land.

Don't ask me how I do it bcos I didn't do anything. In fact, Mummy S has been telling me to stop waking him up for milk if he doesn't and let nature takes it's course. Then things will be easier when I go back to work. But I keep worrying that Lil Isaac is not drinking enuff and since I have to wake up to express anyway if he doesn't drink. And I also worry about him waking up for milk right after I express and he gets no milk even though I have been assured by different mummies that we are wonderful milking machines and will keep producing milk. The babies are also supreme pumps and can draw milk right after we have expressed. I also keep feeling that he is too still young to be sleeping through. Maybe I am comparing him with his jiejie when I know there should be no basis for comparison. One is a preemie and the other an overstayer. I know I am the envy of mummies whose babies are still waking up 3 hourly for milk. :p nevertheless, these truths don't do much to settle me.

So, now when I do wake up to express, I have to resist the urge to wake Lil Isaac up to feed. But I will usually express right before I sleep and sleep until Lil Isaac cries for me. The method works well for the past few nights and Lil Isaac woke up once in the night for milk. I did the same last night and Lil Isaac actually slept through.

Lil Shauna woke me up at 3am and I had to resist waking Lil Isaac for feed. I was also too lazy to wake up to express. She woke me up at 5+am and I could not resist this time. I woke him to latch and expressed thereafter.

So Lil Isaac has slept through. He may have slept through on earlier nights too if I have not woke him up. Still, last night was the historical moment. Strangely, I am not overjoyed. He is still a baby! He needs my milk! But I have to agree that he is growing well, developing thunder thighs and butt. Hohoho.

Mummy Lim

Tigers Congress

Recently, I met up with a few Oct mummies who live in the West.


Lil Isaac was fast enuff and he got to tale a solo pix with the only girl. Hohoho. They probably like each other. In this pix, they hold hands somemore. :p


Mummy Lim

Holiday

I am writing this post while Lil Isaac party with me in the middle of the night after his feed. -.o" He refuses to sleep and doesn't want to latch. I am waiting for him to feel sleepy.

The last time we travel was in Aug 10 to Malacca. We had travelled quite a fair bit after Lil Shauna turns 6 months.


After the Malacca trip, I got too big and I was worried about pre-matured birth. Thus, we stopped all overseas travel plans. I am dying to travel now but Lil Isaac seems a little too young and we cannot leave him in Sgp bcos I bu she de and he needs my breasts.

Whenever I and Lil Shauna look at the overseas pix, she will tell me that she "wants to go there". I think she doesn't have much recollection of those places that we have visited. Today, she whined non-stop when she saw this tv program where a sick girl was sponsored to Hkg Disneyland. She pleaded with us so badly and sounded like she never been to Hkg Disneyland before! We just went there in Feb this year lor. I bet she forgot, waste our $$. Lol.



Then, I read Mummy J's post about them going to Genting today. I drooled. Not to mention Mummy L and J going to Taiwan and w/o KID! Boohoo, I want that too.

We are already planning to go Korea or Japan in late April with Popo and Ah yee, but the wait is so painful. I had thought of going for a short trip before I start work but started worrying about bacteria and viruses after Lil Isaac fell sick to bacteria infection that time. Haiz.

I really want to travel and I think Daddy Lim was tempted too after he saw the show. Hohoho. Let me see what is there. Maybe a slack holiday in Bintan. :) The last time we were there was at least 4 years ago with 2 other couples. Then, most of us have no kids. Ahh, I miss hoildays where we do nothing but nuah by the beach. Need to get Lil Isaac's passport done.

Mummy Lim

Christmas Gathering

Again it is a full house of kids! But the older kids were self entertaining under MA's supervision and Lil Isaac spent most of his time sleeping. We did lots of chatting and munching on unhealthy snacks. Argghhhhh, I hate how I always lose self control at these gatherings and how I will fall into temptations when doctor C kept encouraging me to eat. I will sure regret tomorrow, in fact, I already felt regrets creeping in. Boohoo. But we had great fun, especially the kids.

There are so many kiddos, such that it is no longer possible to eat on the same table. There isn't a moment of silence in the house. It is funny how Christmas gathering has now centered around the kids, which prezzie for who, kids receiving and opening prezzies. It is no longer 'important' what I receive for Christmas, a sign that we have all grown old. Not that I am complaining, just amused at how our interest has shifted.

Christmas is coming and it reminds me that we have come to the end of 2010. This year has passed horribly fast for me, I can barely catch up. Then again, the years that I spent in K all seems to fly by. Hmmmm.. Is it too much to ask for to want to lead a life at a slower pace for the new year?

Hohoho. Merry Christmas!

Mummy Lim

Oops

Lil Isaac caught the flu bug from me. I heard him coughing last night and heard his heavy breathing too, result of his stuffy nose. Boohoo. And I tot bf babies are stronger? Chey. I don't remembered Lil Shauna falling sick in her 1st year wor. I have already booked appointment for his vaccination next week, I hope he will recover by then.

This morning, he was coughing and sneezing. At one point, mucus ran down his nose. Boohoo. My bad.

Mummy Lim

Bottle

I have been so successful in breastfeeding that I am beginning to stock up on bm and it is already taking up 1/5 of the freezer and Lil Isaac totally loves my breasts BUT hates bottle. He was given his 1st bottle in TMC and subsequently in KKH and he was OK with it. He was then largely latched on. And when somebody (usually popo or Auntie MA) tried to bottle feed him, it is basically a nightmare.

He struggles no end and cries murder whenever he is bottlefeed unless when he is uber hungry and has no other choice. But most of the times he will be crying like mad and refuse to suck. Milk will then tickles down the side of his mouth or he gets choke. -______-"

Today, I went for a haircut and Popo decided to bottlefeed him. I just reached home whe Popo woke him up for his feed. We had thought that it would be easier to bottle feed him if he is half awake but we were so wrong. He cried like he was being tortured.



When Popo finally surrendered and ask me to latch him, he immediately stopped crying and latched on, sucking fiercely. -.o" We tried to unlatch him and exchange for bottle and he started crying again. We eventually gave up and latched him after he cried himself hoarse.

It does worry us. Lil Isaac will have to be mainly bottle fed when I return to work and it will be tough on Popo or Auntie MA if he is still not trained by then. Auntie MA is still not confident to handle Lil Isaac when he fusses and she will look at us helplessly, hoping that we will take over. We have decided to start training him in Jan 11 when jiejie starts pre-nursery and will be in school for half a day. I hope all will be well by the time I go back to work.

And this is the latest pix of Lil Isaac, request of Mummy L. Hehehe. Handsome boy? Look at his double chin. Tsk, tsk.


Mummy Lim