Bad Haze

Bad haze, bad, bad haze. 

When the haze 1st hit, I didn't think much of it. I don't remember it having much effect on my family when it hit us that seriously the last time. It was when the psi quietly crept beyond the 300 point and then hitting the 400 point, that I started to notice how bad it really is. Things are made worse when the MOM guide says that it is at the hazardous level, everybody starting wearing mask and asking if work would be stopped. 

There was an emergency meeting in the company, discussing about the contingency plan. It was from the meeting that I realised that even if a person is indoor with opened windows, he is as good as standing outdoor and inhaling all the pollutants, which is exactly what my kids are going through.

The kids had been home for the past few days. Interestingly, my mum didn't want to risk bringing them to centris but took no precaution to close the windows at home. She complained that it was too stuffy. I shut all the windows this morning and hope that it would be less stuffy with 2 fans helping to circulate the still air. We are now hiding in the aircon room.

The kids had been cooped at home for the past few days and are growing mushroom. Lil Isaac said that he wanted to go gaigai and kept asking me where we would be going. I hope the situation turns for the better soon. This haze is so irritating.

Mummy Lim

Updates on the New Challenges

So, how has life been?
Exciting and very busy. This is supposed to be the orientation week and I am supposed to be having an easier time. Apparently, that didn't happened in my case.

The company has a great onboarding program and my calendar is already fully booked to meet who and who. This is great. HR is about people and meeting people is great. Through these meeting, I have a better understanding of what is the business, the company structure and who does what. Just that meeting people and building r/s is very time consuming.

Unfortunately for me, my predecessor has left before I joined and I have a very new team. Thus, I am like trying to piece a jigsaw puzzle currently, trying to find the missing pieces and putting them in place. the best part? I don't know how big this jigsaw puzzle is and I have people looking up to me for directions. It is really the blind leading the blind.

The learning curve is really steep. On top of trying to figure out the business, structure and know her people, I am trying to read through the different company policies and initiatives. There are really a lot of them and this is really tough considering that my calendar is like fully booked. So I read whenever I have pockets of time, which aren't much and I brought some back too.

On top of these, I have work emails starting to come in and some were sent to my email account even before I officially joined. In other words, work is starting to "chase" me and I don't have the luxury of time to "start" working after I have settled down.

Sounds bad? Lol. But I am enjoying myself. Hehe. I am excited at what I am supposed to and had found out. I actually enjoyed reading the policies and papers and meeting people. The people are really warm.

The 2 important things that I have to work on - staying late at work and waking up in the middle of the night to prepare for work. Other than 1 day where I had training in another office, I haven't managed to leave at 4.45pm, like most of the people here. Yday, I was here until 7.45pm when Daddy Lim picked me up after his work and I actually started work at 7isham when he dropped me before heading to yard. This is not healthy and not the worklife balance that I was looking for.

What also is happening is that I would fall asleep while tucking the kids at night and suddenly wake up in the middle of the night to the realization that I have not read what I intended to and prepared for work. Then I will be up for about an hour or more doing what I intended to and headed back to bed fully awake, trying to go back to sleep. This is also very unhealthy. Lol.

However, I am still enjoying myself. Things will somehow work out. I can do it. Can do with passion. Hehe.

Mummy Lim

A New Challenge

I am starting work with the new company tomorrow and am feeling the jitters. I have butterflies in my tummy and thought that I felt breathless whenever I focused on the fact that I am starting work tomorrow in an unfamiliar environment and with people that I do not know. Scary. I have been in my comfort zone for 9 years and my older-by-9-years' heart didn't quite like this out of the norm feeling.

I think I had too short a break. It was barely a week. I am not ready to start work. I should have taken half a year off before I start working. Although the kids are a handful at time, I did enjoy spending time with them and am now hoping for more. Sob.

I think I should do my homework and find out more about the company and the industry. It would impress the people in the new company. However, I wasn't at all enthusiastic to do so and all I care was to confirm what time I had to report to work tomorrow. Lol.

Well, I will also pack my bag, get ready my work clothes and confirmed that address after the kids sleep later. I hope I don't fall asleep too while tucking the kids in. Prayers appreciated. Hehe.

Mummy Lim

Happy Fathers' Day

I love to go to the USS. The kids love the rides and the adults (or maybe it is only me) get to enjoy too. Perhaps, it is also bcos Popo doesn't tag along when we go to USS. I didn't make her an annual pass. I like that we spend time as a family when we go to USS, just us.

Today is Fathers' day and with no other program, I suggested that we headed to USS. Apparently, I am still trying to get away from Popo. Unfortunately, Daddy Lim doesn't share my enthusiasm and he was hoping that we all go to Sim Lim instead so that he could get a new keyboard. Well, it is Fathers' day and he was hoping for something special. I had to disappoint him. I dread going to places for errands with the kids, especially when there are nothing to entertain the kids. It is awful trying to restraint the monkey lest he breaks something.

The kids are definitely on my side and we headed to USS. For some unknown reasons, Lil Isaac started to fear all the thrilling rides. During the last trip, he refused to take the roller coaster ride after 3 previous attempts. We tried to coax him and he eventually did get onto the roller coaster. However, he started crying the moment the roller coaster took off until the end of the ride. We were pretty embarrassed. We thought he wasn't feeling his best and thus skipped the rides that he didn't want to take. We thought too that he would feel better the next visit. Apparently, we are wrong.

Today, the same thing happened and even more rides become forbidden. He was only willing to take the merry-go-round, flying Dino and the sesame street ride. We coaxed him to go on the Canopy and the same thing happened. He started crying when he was on the seat and started yelling when the ride took off. He was crying all the way until we came back. The other people in the queue must have thought that we are crazy parents, insisting on their poor scaredy little boy to ride on that scary ride.

I supposed we would skip USS for a while. Maybe with a little break, it will be easier on the boy the next visit. It is very irritating when we cannot take the rides as a family and have to wait for one another. The comfort is that bcos he didnt dare to take the rides, he doesnt fuss but patiently wait for jiejie to be done. I am also glad that Lil Isaac needs not pay for entrance to USS. Lol.

So, it may not be that "happy" a Fathers' day for Daddy Lim. Still, Happy Fathers' Day, Pappy. In a couple of years, the kids wouldn't want to tag along with us anymore and we would have plenty of time to do all that we want. Haha. Muaks.

Mummy Lim

Mink with my Young Colleagues

*Post written some time back

I must be crazy. I went clubbing with a group of young colleagues on Saturday night. They are really young. The youngest among them is only 23. She is 11 years old my junior! I am quite amazed at myself. Lol. Ok, I admit that I am old and I know that not many mummies still club at 34 years old. Bleehhhh..

Truth be told, I was quite excited at the invitation. Well, I am excited at any clubbing opportunities. I always look forward when I have clubbing dates arranged and this was no exception. Moreover, we were visiting Mink and one of the colleagues was raving about Mink. See, how not to feel excited?

The meeting time was set at 11pm. I had thought that it was late, my auntie group would normally meet at about 10pm for clubbing sessions. However, after our last session at Avalon, I know that Mink would probably be a ghost town if it is anything earlier. Ah yee joined me too. Though not excited at clubbing, she was keen to see what Mink was all about and I dragged her along. Some of the colleagues brought boyfriends and friends as well.

We arrived at about 11pm and there was no Q. We were like a pair of lost sheep when we entered the club and were glad that my colleagues came shortly. The place was small; it reminded me of those small joints along Muhd Sultan clubs that I used to visit in the past. There were only a few tables and I heard each table reservation required $3 to $5k spending a night! I wonder what these people are thinking, spending that much $$ in a night to damage their liver.

It became crowded around midnight but nobody went “up” to the dance floors until almost 1am. I was told that people would go up when the club gets so crowded that there was no space to dance. The dance floors were actually elevated platforms. Other than these platforms, there isn’t much space to dance. There were various bouncers asking people to move away from the tables. I saw this man who had a table almost turning aggressive at another who wasn’t part of his group but sat on the sofa for a rest. Having a table was like a status symbol.

The bouncers also busied to move people away from the invisible walkway. It was very crowded at certain points; imagine standing back to back with some strangers while some more strangers were shoving their way behind, trying to make it to the other side of the club through the crowd. The only comfort was that such situations didn’t happen that frequently and there was still space to groove. We tried going up the platforms too. They weren’t that big and were filled to the brim. I was actually worried about falling off the platforms. The crowd was a good mixture of the young and matured. I probably isn’t the only old person there. There was also the Royal Room with a much older crowd. People were generally drinking and chatting there. They played nice music, music from my generation in the Royal Room. Oh gosh, I do feel so old and it was so unfortunate that not many groove in the Royal Room.

My young colleagues were very wild, drinking and playing finger guessing games. I somehow couldn’t bring myself to join. I think I am too old for that. Whenever I club, it is for the dancing and I did enjoy myself that night.

Ah yee exited the club way earlier and was enjoying her coke and people watching outside the club. I met her at about 2.30am and we made our way home. My colleagues were still happily dancing and drinking away when we left. Ahhhh.. such youth, I am envious. I didn’t drink much and had to leave early, I still have my motherly duties to fulfill on Sunday. I bet many of them slept until after lunch on Sunday. Drooollllll,…

Overall, it was a nice experience clubbing with my young colleagues. I am not sure if such occurrences would take place in the future. I am only glad that I joined them on Saturday night.

Mummy Lim

Mega Quarrel

I had a mega quarrel with Popo on Tuesday. It was bad, really bad.

For those who didn't know, I had quitted the company that I was with for the last 9 years. It was a place that I love and grew up with. Due to some reasons, I thought that it would be better that I moved and I did. I would be starting a new phase of my life this coming Monday. I have a few days of break before I start with my new company and was home on Tuesday.

Popo was busy with her usual 101 routines in the morning and I was manning the kids. We were supposed to go to Batam with my brother's family the next day and I haven't even packed the bags. When Popo finally slowed down and was ending her chores, I asked for some time to pack. I already know what I needed and wouldn't need long. Popo should also know that I wouldn't take long. She has seen me pack countless of times.

Unfortunately, Popo was anxious that my SIL couldn't handle the 3 kids - their maid was away on home leave, yet she was worried that I couldn't handle mine. So, Popo insisted that she dragged my kids to centris while I packed. Or maybe it was part of her routine too.

I was pissed. I couldn't understand - if she thinks that she was pressing for time then why she must finish her routines and if she must finish her routines, then why cant she just give me another 45mins to pack? Or maybe I was just angry at her routine, about how they control my life.

She tried getting the kids to dress but everybody wanted mummy to help and I refused to help. I simply went on packing. After trying for like forever, the kids still refused to cooperate. I was secretly smirking. Popo then angrily exclaimed that I was throwing a tantrum. Well, she wasnt wrong but that triggered it. We had a mega fight.

Angry words are not kind words and many things got dragged into the quarrel, from favoritism to $$ issue, to us not appreciating her, etc. It was so bad that I actually asked her to shift back to my brother's place, something that I have not said before, after tolerating her nonsense all these years. I supposed I have tolerated enuff, of her stepping all over me and controlling how I should live my life in my home. Then, there was all those emotional blackmail that Popo used on me but I don't really care.

Interestingly, even after the mega quarrel and the outburst, Popo doesn't want to go back to my brother's place. I don't know why. It is either she thinks that it is disgraceful to be chased out of my house or the fact that she enjoys controlling and stepping and bullying me. I somehow think that it is the latter bcos if it is the former, she can simply act victim and make me look like the bad guy. I don't mind actually.

There was no conclusion to the quarrel. After the quarrel sort of stopped, I told the kids to either followed Popo or stayed at home with me. Nobody wanted to follow Popo and that was when she declared that she would be bringing Fione over to play. What??!!!! WTH!

I needed breathing space. I hate how she is interfering with my life. For goodness sake, I am 34 years old and a mother of 2! Give me space to live. So I packed my bag, dressed the kids, sent a SOS message to Auntie H and left the house. I was so glad and grateful that Auntie H was home and escaped to her place for the day. That was the 1st time that I actually brought 2 kids out on my own. Well, almost alone - Auntie H is fantastic with kids, regardless of whose.

Before I left the house, I texted Daddy Lim, my brother, SIL and sister to inform them of the mega quarrel. I even told Daddy Lim and my brother that if my mum decided to shift, I would spend the remaining week looking for and settling the kids in childcare.

My mum tried calling me soon after I left the house but I refused to pick up her call. I couldn't face her or talk to her at that point. I needed to be away from her.

The day away from her was fantastic. With Auntie H's help, we had lunch at Marche and the kids enjoyed playing with boo boo. We even made our own pizza in the afternoon and it tasted really great.

While with Auntie H, I realised that nothing would have changed. I can't change Popo, everything will be status quo. It is impossible that she would shift back. It is so obvious that she didn't want to.

Daddy Lim joined us for the pizza dinner and sent us home. Popo was home when we reached home and as expected, nothing had changed.

A few days had passed since the mega quarrel. I am still feeling sore and I don't know from what. Maybe it is the fact that nothing has changed, so nothing was resolved. So, I am still pissed over how she controls my life. One thing for sure is that I am trying to avoid her. I am not speaking to her unless necessary and really yearned for time without her over the weekend. The USS is a great escape cos Popo cannot tag along. Haiz, why like that? Sob.

Mummy Lim

Growing Up

We have been talking about doing this for a long time and we finally got them up. Hehe.

Mummy Lim

Rant

It is the school holidays. We have 5 kids all at home. Coupled with the fact that my brother’s maid went for 2 weeks’ home leave, Popo went into her crazy super drive. Is it necessary? I don’t know. I bet the kids will still find something to occupy themselves even if they have no special program. But I do know that she overtired herself such that her fuse becomes very short and she snaps easily. I hate it when that happens. But there is nothing much I can do but to stay off her radar. The kids are already our responsibilities in the night and we don’t ask for additional help with them.

Popo still cannot let go, insisting on doing things her own standard ways. It frustrates everybody and she ended up with more work for herself. The things are really crazy, like how the bed sheet has to be changed if the kids fell asleep on the way home and didn’t managed to shower or how Lil Isaac has to change into a new shirt every time he eats something bcos he dirtied himself and how the kids’ towel need to be washed after every use. The floor needs to be clean every time the kids dropped some food on the floor, when we could have waited until they finished their meal. The list goes on. There are just more washing and cleaning to be done thereafter and I see her labored with hand washing the kids’ stuff and don’t know what else every night. Is it necessary? There is such a thing called the washing machine and I don’t know why she is insistent on hand washing them. If it is bcos the kids do not have enuff clothes to last them until the next laundry day, then I can always buy more. Sadly, I cannot convince her. And when I tried to suggest or to take over, she snaps.

I see her getting more and more tired. Is she losing weight too? After the last maid’s experience, I am not keen to get another live-in maid too. Daddy Lim and I are really good handling the kids ourselves now. I don’t need additional help with babysitting and I rather rough it out than to be constantly stuck between my mum and the maid and be kept asked to confront the maid. Siao ah! I tried asking Popo if we could get a part-time helper for the heavy duty work such as toilet cleaning and stuff but she turned me down flatly and snapped at me whenever I brought up the suggestion, insisting that she’s managing everything well. Arrggghhhh..

Things are not good. The more tired Popo is, the more she snaps. And when she snaps, I get irritated and I get nasty at her in return. I do feel bad and I don’t want to be nasty towards her but can hardly control myself when she keeps snapping at us. There seem to be no way out. For some reason, she enjoys living with us. Maybe bcos she can bully me easily and she has absolute control over my household.

School holidays just started last Monday and I heard that the kids went swimming every single day. The kids are so tanned now. Luckily, they inherited Daddy Lim’s golden tan and looked healthy and not burnt. Maybe things will be better when I can help next week and hopefully, kaka comes back as she is supposed to. She is really a wonderful helper. If she chose not to come back, that will be our greatest nightmare.

Mummy Lim

LV

I finally got my first LV after invading planet earth for 34 years. Muahahaha.
Well, I don’t quite fancy branded goods to begin with. I am very stingy with myself and I don’t know what to do with the branded stuff after a period of use. Throw ah? So wasted.

My younger colleagues noticed that I am not a branded stuff person too and are very curious about where my $$ goes to. Well, I hid stacks and stacks of $50 in the biscuit tins under my bed. Duh! Kids lah. Somehow, it doesn’t pain me much when I splurged on my kids. Oh, and holidays too, my main indulgence.

Back to my LV. I needed a wallet. The one that I was using was probably more than 9 years old and it wasn’t even from Daddy Lim. The mummies often teased me that the wallet was a constant bruise to Daddy Lim’s ego. But it was serving me fine, just a little old.

One day, it was the usual chat about the branded stuff with the girls. I seldom joined in such chats but somehow, I was tempted. I decided on a new LV wallet, to replace the old one and also as a reward to myself for starting a new challenge. It will come sometime in late April, early May, to tie in with my performance bonus. Oh, by the way, getting a LV something is actually one of the things that I wanted to do this lifetime. I know you will tell me that I am lame. So easily achievable, right? But a big deal to me wor.

April came and went and I remembered my promise to myself. Daddy Lim was very encouraging. He never stops me when it comes to such rare occurrences of indulgence. Well, that explains the TWY and Xbox that are sitting at home now. Oops.

I browsed the LV website and saw what I liked. I hopped into LV Orchard to physically “inspect” the 3 models that I shortlisted and noted that their price. So very coincidentally, ah yee flew off to Paris and I actually saved 30% by having her brought back what I wanted. Hehe.

Interestingly, I wasn’t that excited about my loot. I thereby double confirmed that branded goods don’t excite me. Ah yee came back on Sunday night. I didn’t rush to pick up the wallet from Centris but collected it on Tuesday and I didn’t even open the packaging that night. It sat in my room for 2nights. I only changed into the new LV wallet on Thursday. Muahaha.

It is kind of bulky, heavier and bigger than what I expected it to be. But I was kind of proud when I take it out to retrieve my $$ and cards, LV leh. Hehe.

LV, checked. I think I am more excited about striking one more item off my “To-Do-List in this Life Time”. Lol.

Mummy Lim

Attempt 2

So did I go back to the salon to have my hair re-dye?
Of course I did. It was a really badly done job the first time round.

Being a Monday evening, the salon was almost empty when I arrived. I couldn’t get a cab and was half an hour late. The same hairstylist who attended to me then was waiting; she didn’t have any customer anyway and attended to me immediately.

She looked really worried and apologetic. She was very lucky that I was feeling not too bad and didn’t want to find blood. I was even smiling at her. So nice of me. Hehe. She got down working on my hair very quickly and the whole affair took slightly more than an hour. She meticulously checked a few spots before confirming that the dye was ready. My hair got washed and blown dry. She wasn’t very gentle and I lost some more hair and suffered some pain. My poor hair.

I half suspected that the first dye that she used wasn’t for covering grey hair. She said that it was, just that she didn’t want to choose too dark a brown for me and opted for a lighter shade then. The second time, she opted for something darker. Was it true? I cant tell if my hair is darker as compared to the first time . Can you? I also checked that the grey hairs were covered before I left. I would really kill somebody if I have to come back the 3rd time. Anyway, I have already banned Chapter 2.

I am very concerned about the harm done to my already not very healthy hair. The hair stylist commented that I dropped a lot of hair the first time and said that most of them are from the top of my head. So I imagined that I lost even more the second time (I didn’t ask) and kept thinking that I saw a balding spot on the head back home. Boohoo. It will be a long time before I step into a salon again to dye my hair again. I was asking ah yee last night if I should go Yunnan to treat my grey hair instead. Hmmmm..

Mummy Lim